The Power of Choosing Happiness

As I mentioned in my last post, I truly believe that a lot of the journey of life is how you choose to confront it. Events happen that are unpreventable, that are out of your control. People will hurt you and sometimes betray or abandon you. Possessions can be destroyed and taken from you. Jobs end without warning.

I've been thinking about this a lot lately for a variety of reasons, and a book I'm reading for a class at church called The DNA of Relationships by Dr. Gary Smalley has been covering this same idea. In the chapter we've been discussing the last couple weeks, he talks a lot about taking responsibility in relationships and their conflicts. Our natural tendency is to blame the other person, but only when we take responsibility for our thoughts and actions can we have a healthy relationship (romantic or otherwise). One of the ideas that he talks about is that other people can't make us happy. Dr. Smalley states: "Your fulfillment is emphatically not the job of someone else."  ... "The truth is, no one can 'make' you happy. Not a spouse. Not a friend. Not a boss or a neighbor or a pastor."

On some level I find a sense of freedom in this concept. The idea that I don't have to depend on others or things for my happiness is wonderful to me. This is not to say that relationships aren't important - they definitely are - but only that we aren't powerless in relationships or in life. We have the power to choose what our attitude will be, which ultimately affects how we overcome those conflicts or events. Dr. Smalley's book talks specifically about relationships, but this concept is broader than that. 

"I reckon that people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be." - Abraham Lincoln

Right before I moved back here to Nashville in 2010, I visited my great-grandma Eva Lee (who was about 96 years old) to say goodbye before my mom and I drove across the country. Despite growing up in rural Arkansas during the Great Depression, having to move across the country to Seattle away from her family to find work, and having one of her sons die suddenly in a motorcycle accident, she told me on multiple occasions that she had had a good life and she was ready to meet the Lord. My memories of her include a lot of laughter and an overall happy disposition. To me this shows that you can live through many difficult and horrible things, and still have a fulfilling life when you choose happiness. 


Bad news and disappointments come to everyone at various points in life, and its natural for those things to make you pause a moment. We all have our moments of depression or anxiety or sadness because of difficult situations or experiences, but it is how we choose to think about life overall which will help us come through those things and still be a fulfilled and happy person. I'm extremely appreciative for real examples of this in my own life, and I hope to be such an example for others. 

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